The Hardest Question
Most of people on this planet seem to have this strange obsession with having a list of things to do before they die. They're the same people that can answer the question "what is the meaning of life?"
Most people when you ask them who their best friend is can give you a quick answer. Perhaps with a little more thought they can tell you about the happiest time of their life and the saddest time of their life.
I can't.
A well-documented "problem" in my life is that I don't have an answer for any of those questions.
I've been a victim of excessive religious verbal abuse by a pastor for not being able to answer the question "what is the point of life?" On a side note, he lost his job in large part due to situations like that.
I've been slapped by someone else for not being able to answer a few of those questions.
Most recently, I think I almost gave someone a heart attack. I was asked what I want to do before I die Friday night by a girl I've spent a lot of time recently. We're in that get to know you stage of our friendship.
She couldn't believe that I didn't have anything I wanted to do before I die.
The thing is that I honestly don't. I don't believe there is a point to life. I have no defining moment of sadness or happiness. I couldn't tell you who my best friend is either, not because I'm not open with people, but because there are too many people I value.
I live my life to live my life. I seek things that I think will make me happy tomorrow, and avoid those that won't.
I don't dwell on the past. I build for the future, knowing that I might never get there.
There is no master plan behind anything I do, despite what people seem to think.
I don't do lists, I do life.
4 Comments:
At February 25, 2007 7:33 AM , raster said...
I think the problem is that you're challenging what these people believe in, what they use to ground themselves in reality, and it either scares or insults them.
You say that this is a "problem" in your life, but it's really a problem other people have with you, right? Don't let it become your problem.
Every question has an answer, it's just that some people don't like the answer you give them.
At February 25, 2007 9:51 AM , Sean said...
People don't like it when you don't set life goals. Because, if you don't set those goals, how will they know when you fail and they can point that out? I often struggle from the same problem. People find it hard to believe that if I had a chance, I would not go back and change anything that I have done or said. Why do so, everything shapes what you are today.
At February 25, 2007 11:25 AM , jeramey said...
In response to Raster's comment, yes, when I reference it as a problem I'm referencing how other people view it. It's not my problem.
At February 27, 2007 7:56 AM , V'ron said...
I remember interviewing for a job once, and they asked the cliche question, "Where do you want/expect to be in the next five years?" I was at that point in the interview where I was exasperated, tired of this whole job interview process, and decided to just be honest and let them know what kind of a person I was, when I answered. "Listen. If I was now where I thought I wanted to be five years ago, I'd probably be pointing a gun to my head by now." They laughed. I got the job.
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